By Anna Dear ’16 and Elizabeth McGonagle ’16
O tampon! My tampon! Poorly inserted, my uterus is surely done!
I have seen much pain, but never any quite like this one
The discomfort I feel, it makes me kneel, awkwards moments ensue
While I sit in class and I wriggle, I fear all eyes are on me
But O cramp! Cramp! Cramp!
O the pleading sobs to stay in bed
Where in the heck are tampons in my size,
Ones when told, do what I’ve said?
O tampon! My tampon! Wise up and do as I tell
Wise up—for you on your last rung—for soon will end your thrills
For you shall do as I say, I want this pain to cease
For you appall my entire pass, by God’s graces stop this burning;
Here tampon! dear Womanhood!
I see no alarm beneath your red!
It is a scheme sat on my checks,
tampons when told, do not what I’ve said.
My tampon does not answer me; it sits there pale and still,
My womanhood does not me disarm, but I would much rather the pill
The ship extracted safe and sound, its voyage closed and done
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in its target stunned
Exult O yours no longer sting my cells
But I, who mournful bled
Walk the deck my tampon lies,
Fallen cold and red.
— AnnaMaria Dear
With special guest poet MacG (Elizabeth McGonagle)