Totally Unfeminist Things

By Anna Dear ’16 and Sabine Nix ’16

Are you a feminist? You can be! As long as you avoid doing these things:

  1. Shave

Shaving is only for women who bow to the patriarchy. Real women don’t care about their leg hair. If men don’t have to shave for us, we don’t have to shave for them. Sorry, but if you shave any part of your body, you’re automatically not a feminist anymore.

  1. Wear makeup

The only facial features you should highlight are the masculine ones–so that you can compete with all those men taking our jobs in the world. The only way compete with men is to be a man! Also, the only reason a woman would ever wear makeup would be to please men. REMEMBER, we are not trying to please them; we’re trying to overthrow them.

  1. Be a non-misandrist

If you speak to men EVER, you are not a feminist. If you drink water instead of male tears, you are not a feminist. If you ever understand what a man is saying, you’ve obviously been spending too much time with men. Even worse, if you respect what a man says, you are a traitor to the cause. You can’t trust what men say; their words are tainted by the patriarchy!

  1. Be a guy

A guy feminist? That’s an oxymoron.

These are a few misconceptions and stereotypes that have risen out of the feminist movement. Feminism is not at all centered on misandry (n. the hatred of men by women). If you do any of the things mentioned, you can still be a feminist despite what others may say. Feminism is about overall equality, but also about the ability to be oneself and not be judged for it.

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